Settlement Money o____0

So just as I was waiting for my iron horse to come and take me to my destination I am approached by a guy from "Virginia". He looks to be about mid- to late late 40's an oozes that hood rich fashion swag. As he walked up to me the first thing he utters to me is "Can I buy you breakfast?" I promptly declined and continue to check in via foursquare. He then asks if I want his number which he already had prescribed on a stack of mini note pads. So I took it to appease the fool, silently hoping he would continue to head to "Ocean Ave" to go get this settlement money that he was to claim from his lawyer. Apparently his grandma was rear ended in an car accident and he was get 37K as the settlement ( which by the way he felt the urge to show me a picture of).
I guess He felt further need to say that he would like to "Spend money on me because he is from Virginia.. Blah blah blah". So persistently he asked for my number once again and I was promptly recited the cell number that I had 11 years ago. Happy he walks away from the exit he should have headed towards.
To make this even funnier his idea if spending money is going to BBQ's.. I can't. So I hope he has fun today spending off that huge load of settlement money. I sigh in relief as my iron horse pulls into the station. By far one of the longest 3 minutes of my life.

If anyone is looking for a "good time" his info is below.. Not sure how much of a chance you have since the whole pad was filled up with his info.

Aw well zero fucks given..

TGIF

I Got 5 On It....

It's so funny how music proves to be one of the best ways to keep track of our lives. I'm sure as we listen to our iPods, Pandora, Spotify or radio we often hear tracks that take us back to a specific point of our lives. Whether it be good, bad or indifferent as long as these songs still exist in that endless musical library there will always be a chance that you will have some form of mental relapse.

Now as you can see its been quite a while since my last entry. I've been toying with the idea of at least trying to do a blog entry for what seems like forever. I have one of main confidants that can attest to that. Now by reading my entries I can't guarantee that there will be any specific direction, but it will be a raw and uncut look into the way I see the world. I have never been one to follow trends or ideas that the masses seen to gravitate to but I have express my self better in literary form *at least in my opinion*. So if you do find your self on here I hope you enjoy your stay 😊.

I think that I have not been too successful at this blogging thing is because my brain just processes the things I see and notice faster than my ability to reach for my device of choice to capture the moment. There are so many things that I see/experience that I feel are worthy of sharing but the moment never seems right. But hopefully I can now change that, even if its one line at a time.

I must say, it's feels somewhat therapeutic as I pen even this short entry. I'm on the road to Live, Laugh, & Love more!!

Compassion...

Or lack there of...
There comes a point and a time where you just disconnect yourself from what once was. Was all that time and effort and emotion really worth the end result.. Did you really learn or gain any useful information that can be applied to something else you may come across? I know the old saying is that we are able to learn from everything that occurs in our lives good bad or ugly. But what if you know that in this case it didn't quite go that way. If you could would you just erase that whole section from your memory and carry on like it never existed. Well as great as that sounds there is always a hole in the kite preventing it from flying... Before you really woke up from your sweet dream yet beautiful nightmare you were unknowingly securing the anchors that would test your strength on levels you never imagined you would have to reach.

Why we feel the need to secure our misery and let our happiness fly freely is something I probably will never understand. I seemed to have obtained a membership I cant seem to shake for like a decade now. Was there not an expiration date in the fine print... wait... I ignored it...

Ever wonder...

How different your day would have been if you chose to go left instead of going right. If you ignored that person that is now permanently etched in your life... If you paid attention and put more effort in that subject you enjoyed.... If you keep you first in everything you did... well if you were unable to then we are probably feeling regret.. As the year continues to fly by, and my goals seem to get further and further from my reach. With that comes a feeling of complete and utter disappointment with my self. Over the past 11 years I am unable to list 5 moments where I have been happy, satisfied with the choices I have made...
My "hope" is lost in the deep black sea.. my "faith" is dwindling like a dying star in the solar system... my "love" of anything is, well I dont what that is... and my "luck"... well let's just say I have to laugh at the idea that I might actually have any of that thing.
If this is what being defeated feels and looks like then I might as well say I'm on my way to getting my doctorate....

Just found this in my drafts.. smh @ my emotions. I wrote this in May..

Ugh

Ever get to the point where the little patience you have is now nowhere in sight...where simple conversations and occurrences that normally should have no effect on you, but yet you end up ticked off? Well welcome to my current state. A quarter through the year and yet the gold bucket at the end of the rainbow is no where in sight. It's like the only direction for things to turn is down. Now some may say is believe that positive attitudes yield positive results...
I know this may sound hard to believe, but I an not one of those believers. Sometimes it takes way more than sheer will for the direction of your life to change... but I guess I need to start wishing on a star or entire galaxy....

YAY ME!!!!!! -______-

A situation all too familiar...

Now I am not typically the type to put all of my business out there but this morning I saw a situation that struck home. A dad on the train with his daughter. Now normally this is quite the norm when fathers are out with their child. What's so disturbing about this image was the fact that the little girl, aged between 5-8 was clearly uncomfortable around this man. Now if you were not utilized with common sense you might have thought homeboy was running away with the little girl. I guess it didn't help that he was talking to her with mobile device in hand. 
Now having children is not only a conscious decision made by a woman, but she can't get to that stage without the additional 23 chromosomes provided by her mate, sperm doner or whatever other term fits your situation. Why is it a constant struggle between the sexes to take care of our young. If you don't want kids have a vasectomy or appropriate sterilization technique to ensure that the "responsibilities" aren't conceived.
I don't know..
It's just frustrating to raise a kid with a proud absent father around... and the ones that suffer the most are the newest members of the world.

It's a fucked up situation that I see no end to... which in this day and age is an absolute shame....

Bag on seat = Yuh schupid

So, I'm on one the regularly crowded train...  when this temporary entertainment transpired...

Dougla trinity: yuh have yuh big bag on the seat and its squeezing my child
Asian lady: Why are you talking to me. I will call the police. Don't sit next to me. You crazy.
DT: Yuh schupid... you squeezing my child you need to give people proper space to sit.
AL: It's not my fault your butt big, and mine is not... your a pig. You not good mother, you embarrass your daughter.
DT: yuh schupid... yuh must sit properly...(I was waiting
for "hol yuh mudda cunt", but it never happened...lol)

Dwl...I wish I could have transcribed better, but as I lol in my seat, the transfer of words has escaped me...